|Job well done. our cat rests in whats left of his favorite chair after a hard day of being cute and cuddley.|
Affordable Boat Act
The current administration has just passed a new law called: "The Affordable Boat Act" declaring that every citizen MUST purchase a new boat, by April 31, 2014 . These "affordable" boats will cost an average of $24,000-$124,000 each. This does not include licenses, taxes, trailers, towing fees, insurance, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs. This law has been passed, because until now, typically only financially responsible and working people have been able to purchase boats.
This new law ensures that every American can now have an "affordable" boat of their own, because everyone is "entitled" to a boat. In order to make sure everyone purchases an affordable boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase an average of 250-400% per year. This way, working taxpayers will pay more for something that other people don't want or can't afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can't afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined as long as they have an income. Children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then they must purchase their own boat.
If you already have a boat, you can keep yours - (just kidding; no you can't).
If you don't want or don't need a boat, you are required to buy one anyhow. If you refuse to buy one, you will be fined until you purchase one or face imprisonment. For those that cannot afford one, they will receive a free boat with a monthly check for all ownership costs listed above at taxpayer expense. Non-citizens will either be provided with a free boat or have the option to take someone else's boat as long as it complies with boat law guidelines.
Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert, inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Neither age, motion sickness, inexperience, lack of knowledge nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat. Of course, each time you visit a local, county, state, or federal waterway/body there will be a $100 co-pay. Those who own their own lakes will be charged a $10 per month fee (Note: This is not a tax, as that would be deductible.)
A government review board will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride in your boat and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has outlived its usefulness or if you must purchase specific accessories, or a newer and more expensive boat. (Cash for Clunkers guidelines will be used and reviewed for updates prior to December 31, each year beginning on December 31, 2014.)
Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, at the expense of tax payers. Unions, special interest and major, (approved), donors are also exempt.
Once everyone has their boat the law will be amended to make all gasoline engines on your boat illegal. You will need to replace your existing motor with a green solar motor that has yet to be designed. If you have an electric motor rather than a gasoline motor you may keep it as long as you purchase a solar motor for your main form of propulsion.
Information and purchase available at: www.sinkingship.gov (the website may not be available for any number of undetermined reasons; however, that does not mean you do not have to comply with the Affordable Boat Act by the April 31, 2014 deadline)
If this new law comes as a surprise to you it's likely you haven't been keeping up to date on National events, the Affordable Boat Act has been covered on C-Span for the past six months.
If the government can force Americans to buy health care, they can force you to buy a boat....or anything else...